Oh, Well, Sh-t
by Phanatically
Summary: Draco Malfoy had some ideas about what he wanted to achieve with his young life. You know, make some good choices, or whatever. Some people just have to make that goal excessively difficult. What the hell was Harry Potter doing as a Slytherin anyway? Was he deliberately out to ruin Draco's life? Light?Draco? Dark?Harry? Who even knows? Eventual HPDM. Rating for possible Violence?
1. The Mission

Oh, Well, Sh*t.

 **AN: OH HAI THAR! I MIGHT BE IMPORTANT, CONSIDER READING ME!**

I'm not an important message. Made you

* * *

Draco Malfoy knew today was going to be an important day. He had given himself a mission; befriend Harry Potter at all cost. He didn't believe the boy would one day be the greatest of all Dark Lords as his father believed. In fact, you could say he knew it wasn't true.

"Okay. Wake up, get dressed, have breakfast." He coached himself. He could feel a squirming mixture in the pit of his stomach. He sat up in his bed and looked around his perfectly tidy room. Every piece of furniture was in its place, every strip of cloth, and no toys or books had made their way into his sleeping quarters from his play area. He allowed the familiar sights to calm his nerves as he hurtled himself from the comfort of his overly soft bed and onto the warm, cushioning floor of his manor bedroom.

He wriggled his toes for a second before he stretched and shuffled to the bathroom. He spent as little time relieving himself and brushing his teeth as possible. He knew he should fix his hair back, but he really couldn't be bothered. His mother would probably just have Mimsey redo his efforts anyway.

"Draco?" His mother called from his sitting room as he finished pulling on his last sock. "Are you ready, dearest?" She knocked gently on his door as she entered.

"Good morning, Mother." Draco greeted politely, with just enough arrogance to make his mother's eyes twinkle. He wasn't completely sure, but he could swear she was having a laugh at his expense.

"Come now, fetch your shoes and hurry downstairs, we have much to do today." She reminded him as she smoothed down the front of his robes making him roll his eyes and exhale in exasperation.

"Mum." He whined and shifted from foot to foot, "It's fine as it is." He complained and hid a scowl as the corner of her eyes crinkled. She _must_ be having a laugh, he decided.

"Of course, dearest." She agreed as she ran a hand through his hair. "And now it's perfect. Your hair on the other hand…" She made a soft tutting sound as she ran her hands through his pale locks again. "Dobby." She called as she swept his fringe to the side. "Fix Draco's hair up and fetch his shoes." She ordered the tiny house elf. She stood up straight and headed towards the door, her long and elegant silver robes rustling while she walked. "Be quick, darling." She instructed.

"Dobby?" Draco questioned as he peered his nose down at the nervous elf that had seamlessly appeared in the room just moments before.

"Dobby is listening, master Draco." The tiny elf wrung his hands. "What is it the young master is needing?" He asked, his thin voice high, just a touch too eager.

"Oh, just don't make it too stiff." Draco replied smoothly as he fidgeted with a button on his sleeve. "I don't want to look too stuffy." He mumbled quickly, hoping Dobby would understand what he meant.

"Of course, Master Draco." Dobby agreed as he set to work and quickly finished. Draco nodded his head politely as he sat down on the floor and accepted his shoes. "Thanks." He mumbled and set to shoving his feet into his shoes. He completely missed the look of wonder that spread across Dobby's face or the way the small elf's eyes filled with tears.

"Have a good trip, Master Draco." Dobby gushed before he disappeared.

"Er, okay." Draco replied to the space Dobby had just been.

He didn't dwell on the experience for more than a second before he bounced off of the floor and tore from his room, bolting for the summer room. _Only a few more hours_. Draco thought nervously as he slowed down just before he turned the corner.

Draco nodded politely to his father and took his place next to his mother without a moment's hesitation. "I'm ready!" He announced taking care not to seem too eager. He knew by the twitch in his father's eye that he had been mostly unsuccessful.

"So it would seem." His father replied and Draco bit back a scowl. It would seem both of his parents were laughing at his expense today.

"Don't be so sullen, Draco." His mother chided gently as she accepted a handful of powder from the jar his father offered to her. "You love the Alley." Draco stuck his tongue out at her back as she stepped up to the fireplace. "I saw that." She told him as she turned on her heel, spoke her direction, and was whisked away by a swirl of green flames.

"After you." His father directed as he held the jar aloft to him as well. Draco could tell he was still amused by him. He rolled his eyes, collected his own amount of powder and promptly threw the dust into the fireplace. He followed shortly after and shouted, "Diagon Alley!" As clearly as possible and felt himself whirl away.

Draco took a moment to reorient himself, happy that he'd hardly stumbled at all on his way out of the fireplace, before he hurried to his mother's side. Her eyes were still crinkled in laughter and he nearly gave in to the urge to roll his eyes. Instead he nodded politely.

"Come now, Draco. Your father will know where to find us. We have a full list and we've divided things accordingly." Draco smiled softly at his parent's need to multitask when it came to just about everything. He followed after her already disappearing back to the outside of the Leaky Cauldron. "We'll need to stop at the apothecary first, dearest, and I'll have no complaints out of you for it. You know that Severus will be your teacher this year and you must never, ever fall behind."

"Yes, mother." He replied obediently as he trotted along behind her. His mother was adept at winding between the bustling crowds of the Alley to get to where she wanted to go, a fact that never ceased to amaze him.

"We'll need to get your cauldron, a set of crystal vials, and scales while we're there. Try not to dawdle around too many of the stranger ingredients." She continued to instruct as they made their way to the apothecary. Draco couldn't help his never ending curiosity and wondered what his mother would say if he were to end up in Ravenclaw instead.

Draco followed his mother dutifully to each of the stores, smiling, nodding, and exclaiming at all of the right moments. He even managed to whine an appropriate amount. He drew in a sharp breath as the most important moment of his day drew near.

"Are you sure you're alright on your own?" His mother questioned. She needlessly brushed nonexistent dust from his shoulder.

"Of course, don't be silly." Draco drawled and tipped his nose higher into the air.

"Alright, alright." Narcissa's lips twitched as she nodded to her son. "I'll meet you at Ollivander's."

Draco barely suppressed an eye roll as he followed an assistant into the depths of the robe shop. He stood impatiently on the stool. Anxious thoughts flitted rapidly through his mind What if Potter didn't come to the alley today? What if he came at the wrong time? What if _Draco_ had come at the wrong time? Had he inadvertently gone through the shopping list too quickly?

Draco lost track of his surroundings as his thoughts tilted towards apocalyptic scenarios of what would happen had he missed his first chance to meet the most famous of wizards. He hadn't heard the tinkling of the bell above the door to the shop. He hadn't listened to Malkin's generic greeting. He hadn't paid any attention to the generalized directions taking place just behind him.

There as was rustling to his right and his mind crashed back into the present moment. Hesitantly Draco turned his head. A small boy with raven colored hair, round and taped spectacles, and an oversize robe stepped onto the low foot stool next to him.

Draco's heart thundered inside his chest.

 _Harry._


	2. Disinterested

**OH HAI! I MIGHT BE IMPORTANT, CONSIDER READING ME!**

AN: As you can see by now, I'm a Troll. Usually I'm an expert level troll when it comes to my writing, but this time it was definitely there for any to see if they wished. This shit is a time-travel fic, a Do It Over Again, if you will. I decided to try my hand at a slightly different spin on the usual idea. "Time Travel" is one of my faves and I believe it should be its own genre.

So, without further ado, enjoy the crap out of this if you want to. If not, eat some pie or ride a horse. Whatever it is you crazy bastards do in your free time. Oh, and I suppose I should mention I don't own Harry Potter. I really should know by now why we all post these obvious disclaimers, but I'm just following the crowd on this one. This is Fanfiction dot net, after all. Not AuthorChangesMindAndWantsAlternateEndingOrSomeOtherShit dot net.

* * *

 _Finally._

Draco let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Hello." Draco greeted. "Hogwarts, too?" He felt his blood pump furiously through his veins.

"Mm." Harry blandly responded. Draco frowned.

"You don't seem too excited." Draco observed.

"I suppose I'm not." Harry replied. "It's just a school, isn't it?"

Draco's eyebrow threatened to climb his face. "It's not just any school." He lectured.

"If you insist." Harry agreed without argument, or much interest.

Why wasn't Harry more excited? He could remember the soft smile that had graced an older Harry's face as he described his first experiences upon entering the wizarding world.

"Er, right then." He fumbled for the correct words. "Have you gotten all of your supplies? Father's gone next door to fetch my books and mother's up the road looking at wands. It's a pity first years can't bring their own brooms." He prattled at a loss for consequential words. "I suppose there's always a way to get around that rule, if you're crafty enough." He knew Harry wouldn't understand the reference, but he was starting to miss his Harry. The Harry he knew would have rolled his eyes and defended his obvious talent for flying and deny any sort of extraordinary luck or rules being bent only for him.

"Oh." Was the indifferent response. "Doesn't sound very necessary to me."

Draco resisted the urge to roll his eyes at this version of Harry. If only the boy knew how different he would feel in a few months time.

"It'd be necessary to play Quidditch." Draco reasoned. "I'm sure I'll play for my house team when I'm older." _Of course._ He thought to himself. One of the few pleasantries to repeating his adolescence was the possibility to have time for Quidditch again. "Do you know what house you'll be in?" He asked knowing Harry would be in Gryffindor.

Harry shrugged a shoulder in reply. Draco watched in the full length mirror as Harry's disinterested gaze landed on a stack of robes.

"No one _really_ knows before they get there, do they? I suspect I'll be in Slytherin, all my family has been. Can't imagine I'd end up in Gryffindor, or worse, Hufflepuff." Draco resisted a snort, he could practically see the disgust his father's face would wear if he were in Hufflepuff. "I'd have to switch schools, if that were the case."

Harry remained in stoic silence. Draco inhaled through widening nostrils. He had felt his temper flare at being ignored by this younger version of Harry. He turned his gaze away from the other Harry to the front of the shop.

"Well, that's one way to avoid an utterly boring shopping trip." Draco drawled sarcastically as he watched Hagrid show up in the front window.

"That was quick." Harry mumbled. His expression morphed into a confused frown.

"What was quick? Do you know him?" Draco inquired.

"Yes." Harry replied. Indifferent. He hadn't answered the first question.

 _Interesting._ Draco thought to himself.

"His name is Hagrid." Harry continued, his tone apathetic. "He works at Hogwarts."

"I've heard of him. He's a servant, isn't he?" Draco instigated. He'd begun to lose his patience with this impassive version of Harry.

"He's the gamekeeper at Hogwarts." Harry nonchalantly corrected. He hadn't even had the decency to blink at Draco's barb.

"Exactly." Draco haughtily responded. "I've heard he likes to get drunk, attempt to do magic, and then nearly burns down his poor excuse for a house." Draco exaggerated, his tone disapproving.

Harry didn't reply. He didn't acknowledge Draco at all.

"Why's he with you? Where are your parents?" Draco asked dutifully. Despite his annoyance he knew the subject was painful for Harry. He also knew if he didn't ask it would be weird.

"Dead." Harry replied devoid of emotion.

Draco stared incredulously at this other Harry.

"That's you done, dear." Malkin suddenly interrupted before Draco could respond. He was almost grateful, at a loss for words. He stood silently as Harry blinked at the witch and nodded his head.

"Thanks." Harry flatly responded.

Draco frowned as he watched the indifferent boy step down, pay for his robes, and quietly exit the shop. Draco stood rigidly on his stool in the back throughout the entire procession. Why was Harry so cold? This boy was nothing like he was supposed to be. Draco knew his Harry wouldn't exist here. He knew he wouldn't have the same memories or opinions. But he had been expecting similar reactions. He could remember his first real meeting with the famous Boy-Who-Lived. He could remember the furrowed brow, the confusion, and the wariness. He could remember the way the boy had appeared to dislike the way he spoke of Hagrid. Why were all of his reactions off? He knew he shouldn't expect the same reactions when the introduction had changed. But why weren't they even remotely similar?

* * *

Draco sighed impatiently to himself.

"Are you listening, Draco?" His mother chided.

"Of course." He instantly replied.

Her warm hands lovingly squeezed his shoulders. "Alright then, dear, let's get you on the train. Lucius?" She stood tall, inclining her head in the direction of the scarlet steam engine.

"Come along," His father rapped his cane on the ground, Draco's trunk levitated into the air. His mother flicked her wand, the door to the train sprung open. He rolled his eyes fondly as his parents efficiently settled his trunk in an overhead partition of an open compartment at the head of the train.

He followed his parents back off the train. He stood awkwardly on the terminal floor. His parents shared a look.

"Make sure to write," His mother lectured.

"Focus on your studies," His father chimed in.

"Eat your vegetables."

"Be on time for every class."

"Make plenty of friends."

" _Appropriate_ friends." His father added.

"And be sure to have fun." His parents finished together.

His father pat him on the shoulder. "Make us proud." He ordered and stepped aside for his wife.

"And do make sure to behave." She enveloped him into her comforting embrace. Unlike his first time as a first year, Draco snaked his arms around his mother's back without embarrassment. He breathed in her subtle jasmine scent. He had missed his mother for far too long not to cherish the rare occasions in which she held him close.

"Love you, mum." He whispered into her hair. He released her and the pair pulled apart. He averted his eyes from her curious stare. He nodded to his father, and then his mother. "Father, mother." He straightened his back and walked confidently back onto the train.

He slid into his compartment and withdrew his wand from his robes. He cast a subtle compulsion charm on the door to ward others from joining him. He wasn't ready for company. He knew he'd have to greet Crabbe and Goyle before long, lest he wound their shallow pride.

He slipped his into his robes and sat back into his seat. He turned and stared out the window. He watched his parent's backs as they retreated to the apparition point. He smiled fondly. Neither of his parents were the sentimental type. He wasn't anymore hurt that they hadn't waited for the train to depart this time than any other time. It was, after all, his eighth time boarding the Hogwarts Express.

He watched with disinterest as more students and parents continued to enter onto the platform and flitter past his window. As the clock drew closer to 11 am Draco frowned. He hadn't seen Harry yet. He had even watched as the Weasley family entered one after another. No Harry in sight of them. He knew, from what Harry had told him, it was the Weasleys who had instructed him on how to get to Platform 9 ¾ in the first place.

He knew he couldn't have missed the mop of messy black hair enter through the gateway. He'd made sure to be earlier than ever just to ensure Harry would be there. He had even convinced his parents he wanted to be one of the first students to arrive in order to pick the best compartment.

When the clock read less than a minute to departure Draco's heart hammered in his chest. Harry hadn't come through the gate. He couldn't possibly delay the train, he knew, but what if something had happened to Harry? What if his muggle relatives had injured him? What if he'd been hit by a car? He could hear the insufferable warning ringing in his head, " _bad things happen to wizards who meddle with time_." What if his decision resulted in something horrible happening to Harry? It was the only way he'd have missed the train. Draco groaned as he felt the train lurch forward.

No. He wouldn't believe it. Harry must have, by some stroke of luck only Harry could manage, gotten to the train before Draco did. While he'd been able to convince his parents to arrive to the station by 10am, they hadn't been the first to arrive.

Draco whipped his wand out as the train began to pick up speed. The bright light of September filtered through his window and the train left the station behind. "Invenis, Harry Potter." He whispered anxiously. He watched as the tip of his wand lit with a strong, bright light. Harry was nearby. Draco breathed a sigh of relief as the light remained steady the further the train travelled. Harry had to be on the train.

"Finite," He mumbled with a frown. How had Harry gotten onto the platform before him? He'd have to ask when he found him. He'd already resigned himself to the tediously long train ride designed solely as an awkward way for children to be forced to mingle with one another. He pulled a book from his trunk and began to read for the first half of the trip. He didn't much desire to surround himself with several 11 year old children quite yet.

Draco shook his head and stretched halfway through the ride. He rummaged through his trunk and pulled out a set of school robes. He'd have to find Crabbe and Goyle first. Then he could find Harry.

Draco cast another compulsion charm on his compartment as he wandered down the train. He passed several noisy compartments filled with rambunctious teens, anxious pre-teens, and one curiously over-stuffed compartment filled with shrieks and gasped. He swore he heard one girl cry out, "Why in the world is it so hairy!"

Halfway down the train he spotted Crabbe and Goyle. "There you two are." He drawled and pushed his way into the compartment. "Have a good last few days of summer?" He drawled seating himself next to Goyle.

"Where have you been?" Crabbe grunted and dropped an empty box of peppermint toads to the ground. "You missed the trolley."

Draco resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Always about food with you two." He stated simply. No sense trying to force an educated conversation between the two of them. Neither had ever been much for conversations.

"You want to go find something to do?" Goyle asked. The boy had his finger shoved deep in his ear.

"Not really." Draco replied honestly. "I have something to do shortly. I wanted to find the two of you before I took care of some business."

"What business?" Crabbe asked, his expression dull.

"That's not for you to worry about." Draco responded with a shrug. "Something Father's asked of me." He explained simply. "I'll see the two of you later." He stood quickly and left the compartment before either could get a word in.

He'd lasted longer in their company than he'd expected to. He wasn't sure how he could possibly spend time as their friend. He groaned in discomfort.

He continued down the train. An eyebrow raised here and there. He hadn't found Harry yet. He'd heard whispers from other students that someone had seen him on the train. The rumors, true to Hogwarts fashion, were as ridiculous as always. One girl swore he was 8 feet tall. Another student swore you could see Harry's magic as it swirled around him.

Draco lost the battle not to roll his eyes as he listened to a third year Gryffindor tell an entire compartment that he'd literally been blown away from Harry due to how powerful a wizard he was.

"Idiots." He mumbled. He honestly couldn't understand Gryffindors attimes.

Three cars from the end of the train Draco felt the urge to use the classified locator spell once again. He felt himself relax as he finally spotted a mop of black hair alone in the last compartment of the train-car.

He casually slid the compartment door open. "What are you doing all by yourself?" He asked genuinely curious.

"No one else has come to join me?" Harry sarcastically responded without turning from the window.

"I can see that." He drawled in response, feeling amused with Harry's snark back in place. He hadn't liked Harry's indifference in Diagon Alley. "No one else wanted to share a nearly empty compartment?" He rephrased his question.

He watched as Harry tilted his head slightly to the left. The smaller boy lifted a shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. "Guess not." He responded. Draco found a fast growing hatred forming for this guarded version of Harry.

"Well, I'll join you then." Draco invited himself in and sat down across from Harry. It had started to irritate him that Harry hadn't yet looked at him. "I'm Draco, by the way." He introduced himself. "Draco Malfoy."

"Nice to meet you, Malfoy." Harry responded automatically. Draco frowned when he didn't call him Draco.

"Well?" Draco prompted after a few moments silence.

"Hmm?" Harry questioned with disinterest. He finally chose to turn his gaze from the window to stare blankly at Draco.

"Aren't you going to introduce yourself?" He drawled. "It's proper, you know."

Harry simply shrugged in response. "Does it matter if I do or not?"

"It's what is proper of a wizard." Draco frowned. "Our etiquette dictates one should respond in turn when a witch or wizard introduces themselves." Draco instructed. Had Harry really not known how to introduce himself before coming to Hogwarts? It seemed unlikely, he'd never mentioned it to Draco before.

"Our?" Harry blinked at him.

"Yes, our. As in wizarding society." Draco huffed. Merlin Harry was being a right prat.

"It isn't just a wizarding thing. Muggles do it too." Harry replied. Draco felt his eye twitch.

"Then why haven't you reciprocated?" Draco snapped out.

"What's it matter if I do or don't?" Harry asked again.

"So I'll know what to call you?"

"Why would you have a need to call me anything?"

"Well, I suppose if you'd prefer it I could call you 'insufferable.'" Draco huffed.

"If you can't suffer my presence, why are you still in here?" Came Harry's bored reply.

Why indeed? "Why are you still refusing to tell me your name?" Draco demanded. "Is it a really embarrassing name? I bet it's something dreadful. Like Hogarth or Horace." Draco drawled.

"I was warned about you." Harry replied lightly. "About the Malfoy family, anyway." Draco blinked in surprise. "They're supposed to be self-righteous and arrogant."

"Who told you that?"

"And that they've more money than sense." Harry continued like Draco hadn't spoken. "I ought to go put on my uniform." Harry stood abruptly and left the compartment without a word.

Draco's mouth dropped as he watched the 11-year-old leave the compartment. He felt his temper flare.

The rest of the trip passed in a blur. Draco moved back to his own compartment and waited in mild annoyance. He exited the train, dutifully followed the other first years down to the boats, and even managed to gasp along with all of the other first years, as was expected. He listened to McGonagall's speech, ignored the ghosts, and waltzed into the Great Hall.

He stared at the Sorting Hat as expected, not really listening to the song. He waited for his name to be called as one by one his classmates of seven years made the awkward walk to the front of the room. He nodded along with everyone else already knowing where each student would go.

When his name was called he confidently walked up to the stool, despite the anxiety that had grown in the pit of his stomach, and graciously sat down.

 _"Hmm?"_ The Sorting Hat questioned. _"How to sort a closed off mind?"_ He felt the hat's presence whisper along his guarded mind.

 _"You could just place me in Slytherin."_ Draco offered the hat. _"It's where I belong."_

 _"Is it? How would you know?"_ The hat sounded amused.

Draco sighed and let the hat through his defenses.

 _"Been here before?"_ The hat questioned. _"Yes. Yes, I see that you have."_

 _"See? I belong in Slytherin."_

 _"Do you? It wasn't very wise to attempt to change the future. Terrible things could happen."_

 _"Yes, I know."_ Draco bit back. He hadn't had a choice.

 _"But didn't you?"_ Draco shoved the hat away from his most guarded memories.

 _"No!"_ He snapped at the hat.

 _"You would have been fine had you stayed. You came back to fear and war and death."_

Draco didn't reply.

 _"Oh, but you're so very brave, young one. Very, very brave. Gryffindor would suit you most nicely."_ The hat all but purred.

 _"No, no, no, no!"_ Draco pleaded as he felt the hat slide and dance about his memories. _"Please, anything but Gryffindor! I'll even take Hufflepuff!"_ He begged. He couldn't accomplish anything if he were in Gryffindor!

 _"My, my, how ready you are to assume the badger patch!"_ The hat teased. _"I guess I'll take you up on that! Yellow will suit you quite nicely. Better be- "SLYTHERIN!"_ The Sorting Hat shouted aloud. Draco nearly felt his heart beat from his chest from shock and relief. For a moment he had truly believed the hat would place him in Hufflepuff!

 _"Remember,"_ The hat whispered just before he slid the worn cloth from his head, " _It is that attitude that caused all of your troubles in the past."_ Draco swallowed hard as he handed the hat to McGonagall and hurried to once again embrace the house of the Snakes.

He drummed his fingers against the tabletop as he waited for the ceremony to end. He knew where all of these students would end up; his concern over his own sorting had filled his boredom until now.

He rolled his eyes as the hall went silent as Potter's name was called. He had forgotten how ridiculous people had gotten when his name was called the first time.

"I heard he was raised by a coven of vampires after he defeated You-Know-Who." Draco overheard a fourth year Slytherin hiss.

"I heard he's been trained by all the best aurors in the world. Everyone knows he has amazing powers!"

"You're both crazy," the duo's friend hissed, and Draco silently agreed. "Everyone knows he was raised like a prince by his distant relatives. I hear they're royalty in France."

Draco just barely resisted the urge to shove his face into his palm. Had people really believed these things about Potter in his original time line? They were all bloody insane! Potter was clearly an average wizard, the way he shuffled up to the hat. He had a look of ordinary apprehension on his face and his hands twitched nervously at his side. Draco could tell he was just as scared as every other first year here.

Draco traced the designs on his fork as he waited for the hat to speak. He remembered it had taken some time for Harry to be sorted the first time around. He opened his mouth in time with the Sorting Hat, ready to mouth along with the hat's obvious declaration.

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat shouted and Draco felt his jaw drop. _WHAT!_ His mind screamed as he watched the small, child-like version Potter place the hat gently on the stool, turn towards the Slytherin table, and quickly fled the dais.

"Woah! We get a Potter?" Draco's eyes never left Potter as he listened to his house mates gossip.

"I can't believe it! Maybe it is true, maybe he is the next dark lord?" The other whispered back.

 _Oh no._ Draco thought to himself. This definitely wasn't how this was supposed to go.


End file.
